© 2020 WFAE
90.7 Charlotte 93.7 Southern Pines 90.3 Hickory 106.1 Laurinburg
Play Live Radio
Next Up:
0:00
0:00
Available On Air Stations

Limericks

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill In The Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT - that's 1-888-924-8924 - or click the contact us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org. And if you want more WAIT WAIT in your week, all you have to do is check out the WAIT WAIT quiz on your smart speaker. It's out every Wednesday with me and Bill asking you questions, all in the comfort of your home. It's just like our show, only now you have to work harder.

Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

DAWN KANEHL: Hi. This is Dawn Kanehl from Suffolk, Va.

SAGAL: Where is Suffolk? I'm not sure I know where it is.

KANEHL: Well, it's on the coast about 45 minutes from Virginia Beach.

SAGAL: Oh, nice. I've been to Virginia Beach. What do you do there?

KANEHL: Well, I'm actually getting ready to go back into teaching. I took two years off as an English teacher. And I'm headed back into whatever the classroom looks like this fall.

SAGAL: Oh, wow.

KANEHL: So I've got great timing.

SAGAL: Well, good luck, Dawn. Welcome to the show.

KANEHL: Thank you.

SAGAL: Bill Kurtis right now is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two of the limericks, you will be a winner. Ready to play?

KANEHL: Yes.

SAGAL: Here is your first limerick.

BILL KURTIS: My mask makes my own oils attack me. Skin can't breathe, and my pores pay me back, see? When my chin is mask-free, it's a spotty goatee. It has made me break out in bad...

KANEHL: Maskne (ph).

SAGAL: Very good.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: You know, the answer technically was acne. But we were going to get to maskne, so I'm giving it to you. You know what it is. Have you - did...

KANEHL: I do.

SAGAL: You do know what it is. We read about it in the New York Times because, of course, we were never beset by such problems with clear skin like we have. But this is maskne. As you say, it's acne that's caused by wearing a mask like everybody's supposed to be doing right now, except those of us who were smart enough to soak our masks in Accutane before putting them on. The acne is caused, you see, by the excess sweat and oil that gets trapped against your skin. But don't worry. There's an easy solution. If you get unsightly blemishes, just cover them with a mask.

TOM PAPA: (Laughter).

SAGAL: All right. Here is your next limerick.

KURTIS: Disinfect the balloons. Wipe them down. Make the face mask a smile, not a frown. Keep the children at bay, at least six feet away. These and more are the rules for a...

KANEHL: Clown.

SAGAL: Exactly right, Dawn.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Very good.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)

KURTIS: She is right on.

SAGAL: This week, the LA Times asked the question you hadn't realized you did not care about in an article called, "How Do Clowns Survive The Pandemic?" It detailed the adjustments that clowns are making to adapt the post-lockdown world. Clowns' whole thing is interacting with the crowd, so the pandemic is a real challenge for them, as opposed to mimes, who are each safe in their own invisible box. I should specify this story is about party clowns, not murder clowns. Did you - have you guys spared a thought during this entire three-month experience for how the clowns will be faring?

JOEL KIM BOOSTER: It was one industry I was not concerned about, unfortunately.

PAPA: (Laughter).

SAGAL: They're not getting any of the press. This is the first article I've read. I've read about restaurants, the theater, of course. But nobody seems to care for the clowns.

ROXANNE ROBERTS: You know, unlike bats, I never cared much for clowns.

(LAUGHTER)

BOOSTER: I will say my brother-in-law is a birthday party pirate, so sort of a rival of a clown. And he's been doing a lot of stuff on Zoom, which is, you know, sad.

PAPA: Not fun (laughter).

SAGAL: Like, arr (ph), am I muted?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right. Very good, Dawn. Here is your last limerick.

KURTIS: Slip it on. Snap the crotch. There, I'm donesie (ph). With pants or without, it's quite funsie (ph). It covers my belly, unsnaps when I'm smelly. For men, here's a functional...

KANEHL: Onesie.

SAGAL: Very good, Dawn.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: You know this.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE SOUND EFFECT)

KURTIS: Onesie. Boy, she's smart.

SAGAL: Good news for weird adults. There are now onesies. That is the universal infant garment that unsnaps at the bottom for ease of changing. But these are for grown men. Onesies are the perfect clothing item for when you wish your shirt touched your crotch. It's a polo shirt on top and sort of a - you know, the classic onesie bottom. So - or if you like upstairs, it's all business. Downstairs, it's all baby. It's kind of cute, but it's a slippery slope to grown men demanding to be carried around in a Babybjorn.

BOOSTER: I look incredible in a onesie, I have to say. I look amazing.

SAGAL: Yes. I have to - I mean, I'm spending time with some babies of late. I have a new niece. And I've never looked at her in her onesie and said, I wish I could wear one of those.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Dawn do?

KURTIS: With a perfect score, Dawn must be a star of the classroom. Congratulations.

SAGAL: Well done, Dawn.

KANEHL: Thank you.

SAGAL: Congratulations. And good luck as you go back to school.

KANEHL: Thanks, Peter.

SAGAL: Bye-bye, Dawn.

KANEHL: Bye.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "YOU MUST HAVE BEEN A BEAUTIFUL BABY")

BING CROSBY: (Singing) And when it came to winning blue ribbons, you must have shown the other kids how. I can see the judges' eyes as they handed you the prize. I bet you made the cutest bow. Oh, you must have been a beautiful baby 'cause, baby, look at you now. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.