Kids ask a lot of questions. Sometimes the questions are so good they require some further reflection. WFAE’s Tommy Tomlinson, in his "On My Mind" commentary, talks about one such recent sidewalk moment.
The other afternoon, I was on our porch doing some reading, and it was so pleasant out there I decided to doze for a bit.
I was half-asleep when I spotted two little girls coming down the sidewalk. They stopped in front of our Little Free Library. I noticed one of them staring at me. She elbowed the other girl and said in a stage whisper:
“Is he real or is he fake?”
This was not as strange a question as it normally might have been. We are well into Halloween season in our neighborhood, and there are ghouls and goblins of all sorts hanging out in the yards on our street. She might have mistaken me for some sort of hideous monster. Which means I should dress better before going outside.
But afterward, the more I thought about it, I decided her question was a pretty good one.
It’s a smart self-check, every so often, to think about whether we’re being real — with other people and ourselves — or if we’re playing a character we think we’re supposed to play.
It’s not wrong to step into character from time to time. If you’re doing a favor for someone, they don’t have to know you think it’s a chore. You’re not obligated to say whatever’s on your mind no matter who it hurts.
I do think, though, that our authentic selves can get lost sometimes in the fog of being what we think we ought to be.
For me, especially when I was younger, that came from a fear that people wouldn’t like the real me. Maybe some of you had (or have) that same feeling. It took me a long time to learn that the people who care about you will love who you really are.
This is probably too much baggage to load onto a stray question by an 8-year-old girl. But that’s how my mind works sometimes.
By the way … after she asked her friend if I was real or fake, I slowly opened my eyes wide. She grinned and grabbed her friend. “He’s real!” she said.
Real is better.
Tommy Tomlinson’s "On My Mind" column runs Mondays on WFAE and WFAE.org. It represents his opinion, not the opinion of WFAE. You can respond to this column in the comments section below. You can also email Tommy at ttomlinson@wfae.org.