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And You Thought Your Co-Workers Had Lame Reasons For Absences

STEVE INSKEEP, HOST:

And let's go from small claims to false claims. Our Last Word In Business is all about faking it, and not making it, to work.

(SOUNDBITE OF TV SHOW, "SEINFELD")

JASON ALEXANDER: (As George) Shouldn't you be at work by now?

WAYNE KNIGHT: (As Newman) Work? It's raining.

(AUDIENCE LAUGHTER)

ALEXANDER: (As George) So?

(AUDIENCE LAUGHTER)

KNIGHT: (As Newman) I called in sick. I don't work in the rain.

ALEXANDER: (As George) You don't work in the rain? You're a mailman. Neither rain nor sleet nor - it's the first one!

(AUDIENCE LAUGHTER)

INSKEEP: OK. That excuse, heard on the TV show "Seinfeld" years ago, seems absurd. But here are some real excuses used for missing work, that a British health care company found in a survey. The Daily Telegraph listed them. Who knows? Some may be true.

The excuses include, "My trousers split on the way to work," "My fish is sick," "I've had a hair dye disaster," "A cup of baked beans landed on my big toe" - the big toe, remember that; "I've got a sore finger" and best of all, "I am hallucinating."

Please stay home.

That's the business news on MORNING EDITION, from NPR News. I'm Steve Inskeep.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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