Just when we think coffee can’t get any more miraculous, here comes the coffee nap.
It sure seems like an oxymoron. How is it possible to pair up getting wide-eyed with getting shut-eye?
It works like this: In the afternoon when fatigue sets in, you drink a cup of coffee, set your alarm for 20 to 30 minutes, then doze off. That's the perfect amount of time to let the caffeine kick in. You'll wake up alert and refreshed. Science says so.
This seems entirely too good to be true. Forget for a moment it gives us permission to combine two of life’s great pleasures -- coffee and napping -- into one experience. Experts say a coffee nap can improve mental alertness and job performance.
As a skeptic and seeker of truth, this journalist decided to conduct her own first-hand research, Yes, without fear for my own safety and well-being, I set out to test this audacious theory and document my findings. Here's what happened.
Test #1:
- Make coffee
- Drink coffee
- Nap
- Awaken three hours later to discover omission of critical alarm-setting step.
Result: Fail
Test #2
- Make coffee
- Drink coffee
- Set alarm for 30 minutes
- Attempt to nap but get distracted by day-long Walking Dead marathon on TV
- Reset alarm
- Repeat step 4
- Repeat steps 5 and 6 until dark; watch new episode
- Forget to set alarm for the morning and arrive late to work.
Result: Fail
Test #3
- Make coffee
- Throw out coffee when half-and-half looks curdly
- Go to store for more coffee
- Complain about the cost of Parmesan cheese and buy all groceries needed for the week
- Arrive home, rush to throw together a bean, corn, and tomato salad without Parmesan for 6:00 potluck dinner
- Arrive late to potluck dinner.
Result: Fail
Sad to say, I never could replicate the scientific results that others reported. Is the coffee nap just an urban myth? A sick joke? A cruel hoax perpetrated upon exhausted people everywhere? It's hard to say.
In any case, it's important to continue our critical research. To drink coffee and to nap with abandon, as often as possible. Daily would be best.
