No Bologna! Here's A Prime Wiener Story
I’m not a huge fan of eating hot dogs, but when it comes to stories about them, count me in.
My last wiener installment for WFAEats, titled “A ‘Frank’ Story of Survival,” involved a petrified weenie from my mother’s kitchen. Fifty years ago it rolled under her dishwasher and into family legend.
Weenie stories are funny without trying, probably because hot dogs are usually served at fun places such as picnics, campfires, and ball parks. So when I saw that the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile had a mishap, I couldn’t resist. On February 15, the right front fender and bumper – the forward part of the fiberglass bun – were mangled when the vehicle piloted by driver “Little Oscar” hit a slick spot near Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. Half the windshield – the front of the hot dog – was shattered as well.
I reposted the story and photo on my Facebook feed. It became quickly evident that other people share my fascination with the wiener wagon.
Commenters hailed from as far as Arizona.
“I don’t relish hearing this,” one person quipped.
“It appears it was chili out there!” said another.
“Maybe he was trying to ketchup with someone.”
“Hope Little Oscar is OK.”
“Wooeee doggies!” a friend chimed in.
“Guess he’s not very hot today.”
“Everyone knows driving and grilling don’t mix! You simply cannot watch the road while tending the grill!”
“Hope Little Oscar’s wife is OK. I heard she had a bun in the oven at the time of the accident.”
Such clever Facebookers.
Spotting the Wienermobile is as rare as encountering the Goodyear blimp, maybe even more so. My first sighting was as a child near St. Louis, when I exclaimed, “Look Mom! A big wiener!”
I’ve seen it once or twice at restaurant and store promotions, and a vintage model at the Greenfield Village Museum in Dearborn, Michigan. This tells me there are more than one of these fiberglass wagons traveling the roads of America. Yes, that’s true. There are actually six, including this misshapen one that slid into a pole outside Harrisburg. Nearly every motorist who passed the scene stopped to take a photo.
Seeing the wiener wagon damaged is sad. Try to imagine what was said after the accident. How was it described by the police officer who wrote the accident report, the insurance adjuster who filed the claim, the person whose property the wagon slid into? How did Little Oscar explain what happened when he hit that icy patch in the road?
We do know what one reporter said: “This hot dog should have stayed out of the cold.”